Do you ever look back and think, “Man, I should have done [fill in the blank].” Or, “Man, maybe I shouldn’t have [fill in the blank].” Or, “If I hadn’t walked this path for so long maybe [fill in the blank].”

I have. Plenty of times. Don’t get me wrong, I know I have it good. I just sometimes fall into that endless rabbit trail of would have, could have, should have—and it isn’t always helpful. If I spend too long there, beyond the point of analysis that lends to more productive decisions in the future, all it does is lead me to a place of ungratefulness.

I want to share a story that always gives me hope when I’m in a place of doubt, uncertainty, or basically questioning all my life decisions up until a certain point—I’m just a little dramatic sometimes.

So take a moment now, if you can. Otherwise keep the tab open on your phone or laptop or other device of choosing and come back to it. I think her story is worth it to you.

This is a story about a woman. She has a rather scandalous past, the kind that if given the opportunity to run from and never acknowledge again most would. It has been documented forever that she was a prostitute, and possibly even owned a brothel herself. And when I say documented, I mean it is written in the one book that has been published more than any other in history and will probably remain that way for some time.

That shameful part of her story will never be dismissed. She can’t hide from it. Her legacy is so wrapped up in it that it could be her whole identity.

And yet there is more to her. She is also a brave, bold, and wickedly smart woman. She watched and listened from a distance and knew that the men knocking on her door weren’t there for the same reasons most men had come to her before. She knew deep in her soul that they knew something she didn’t. She accepted that they had experienced something she hadn’t. Perhaps if she gave them what they needed she too would see and experience what they had.

So she helps them. She risks her culturally defined as worthless life to keep them safe. She hides them in her home and lies to the authorities. Perhaps she has experience with lying to men, after all, if the text is right she has encountered plenty and probably many whom she has had to “dance” around for her safety. She pleads with these men, spies mind you, to save her and her family just as she has saved them—a bold and daring move for a woman period, let alone one of her circumstance in this ancient time. The men make a covenant promise with her and swear on their own lives they will save her and her family if she does as they say. She agrees.

She helps them escape the city walls and waits for their valiant return with the army that will overtake the city she just betrayed. As she ties that scarlet ribbon in the window, the indication to the men that she and her family are in her house, I wonder what she was thinking. Was her heart pounding out of her chest? Did she wonder if one of the authorities might see it and ask her why it’s there? What would she say then? Did she double, triple and quadruple knot it to ensure it didn’t come undone? Did she question if the men who said they would save her and her family really meant it? Did she begin to mourn the loss of friends and neighbors who she knew she couldn’t save, and yet she was fairly certain of their fate? The text doesn’t say, but our humanity would suggest that in her waiting these questions were very probable.

The men stick to their word and when the army comes and annihilates the city, completely wiping out all life within the city walls, they remember her and her family. She is brought to the camp where these people that just crushed her people have been making their home as they secure their promised land. She is an outsider, a cultural outcast. Her occupational identity may not be known yet, but it will be soon and her ethnic identity is on full display. She probably doesn’t blend in well in her new home.

But she is safe, and her family is too. What was it that made her risk everything to hide those men? What was it that gave her the guts to believe that the stories she had heard about the God of these men was worth putting her neck on the line? Did this God really do the things they said he did? Her boldness certainly is something to be reckoned with.

She must have known deep in her bones that any consequence to siding with her city’s enemy was worth the risk. She must have known deep down that this God she heard stories about, the one who parted the Red Sea, who seemed to continually side with the oppressed Israelites, bringing them out of slavery after 400 years, must be real. These people were the underdogs of the time. They may have been large in number but having been captive for so many years, they didn’t have the established war strategies, weapons, or even a true home.

She knew. She knew there was something greater going on and she risked everything to be a part of it.

Eventually this woman with the questionable past, the outcast who risked it all for her family and two spies whose own people would consider her less than worthy to sit at the same table with (and that is being kind), married one of the insiders and gave birth to a son. He would grow to become a hero of sorts. A man that all the people would look up to and admire for his integrity, kindness, and leadership. He would bring redemption to another woman that would bear his mother grandchildren. And eventually, the Messiah, the one they have all been waiting for would come from this line of outsiders.

The chosen One to redeem humanity had a great grandmother in his line with a questionable past. And we can choose to remember her by only her past or take the better way and remember her as a woman with worth and dignity, no matter her past or occupation. We can remember her for her boldness, her bravery, and her loyalty. This same woman raised a remarkable son—no doubt something she probably hadn’t dreamed of that day that she risked it all for two spies.

I cannot get enough of Rahab and her story. From outsider to insider. From questionable past to remarkable legacy. She believed the God of Israel to be true before she ever saw his works with her own eyes. What faith!

Her past did not define her or trap her in a prison of self-doubt and unworthiness. Deep down she knew she was worthy of more than her present circumstances—at least that’s what I take away from her heroic story. And I hope you do too.

You are more than any mistake, bad decision, wrong direction you took. You are a woman with worth and dignity. And whether you feel it or not, courage runs in your bones—you just might have to step forward into the unknown before you see it for yourself. Our past does not define our future. It can hold us back if we let it, but we have the opportunity to redirect and change course with every new decision.

Be bold and courageous today, friend. Whether that is to finally make the career change you have been longing for, or releasing the grip you have on what life used to look like and embracing what it currently is. No matter the situation or circumstance, you can be confident that even when you don’t see it, that all this madness is weaving into a beautiful tapestry that will be used for good.

“God arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.” Psalm 18:32

** Rahab’s story can be found in Joshua 2 and 6. She is also mentioned in the lineage of Christ in Matthew 1.