Freely Receive

This couldn’t be real.  If it is real, it won’t last.  There is no way we’ll make it all the way to the end. 

A prayer was being answered yet I was convinced the bottom was going to drop out and we’d never see it come to fruition. 

A few weeks later I was on a women’s retreat. We were given the opportunity to spend time alone. Just me and my God. As I journaled how I was feeling and began praying, the Holy Spirit started to reveal the deep rooted lie that had taken hold.

I had convinced myself that nothing comes easy and everything is a battle. If there was something good I desired, first something in me had to be fixed, changed, or refined before it would ever be given to me.

I had been through some heart wrenching, gut-kicking things, and while God had brought me through to the other side, evidently some of the collateral damage left a residue of lies. They were deep rooted. So deep, that until this point I couldn’t even see them festering in my soul. So deep, I couldn’t even recognize that their symptoms were fear and unbelief. 

I believed I had to earn a blessing from God.

I believed I had to reach some kind of standard to receive the desires of my heart.

I was believing, if I am honest, lies that maligned the character of God.

An uprooting began that weekend. And a journey to re-discover our faithful, loving, giving, kind God. It took some time, and even still there are seasons I have to remind myself that there is nothing I can do to earn the favor of God. I am favored. And not because I have done anything. Only because I am His daughter. 

Sister, as you wait on the desires of your heart, know that God is working things out in His perfect timing for you. And if you receive what you desire, absent of any struggle, you can praise Him and trust Him for it. Let us cling to the goodness of God and trust Him for every good and perfect gift. Even when it seems unbelievable. 

** Written by Lindsey, this was originally posted on The Joyful Life magazine’s Instagram account.